He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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