If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
