She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
