i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
