i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Someone came in the potted fern
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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