i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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