i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
