Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
