Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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