We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
