C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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