i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
