i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You are the jesus of drinking
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
