FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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