You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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