Dual....:-)
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The best revenge is premature balding
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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