I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
do nipples grow back?
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