WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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