If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He shit in the fireplace
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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