He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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