oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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