I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
