you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
