do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
