yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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