OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
