ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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