I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
