Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
