why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pants are for mortals
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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