i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
