Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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