He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
