If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
