is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
