Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
