Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So much rum. So many feels.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
