You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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