Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
