i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
