ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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