Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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