He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
