who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
