R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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