I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
