I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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