I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
