Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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