does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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