What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
