We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
