i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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